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Yes, it was 8 July 2007 when I posted THIS. And, yes, it was John jawnbc who "installed" the idea of LJ in my head. I think it happened a few months before July and it was only after his visit to Ljubljana that I actually dragged my arse into something called writing a proper blog.

I have to say I still have more or less mixed emotions about this all blogging thing. I don't think if I found the right mixture of give and take. I don't have a very big Flist, actually I think there are less than 50 names on it and I think I could call myself a loyal blogger; meaning I am getting notifications for each and everyone of these blogs. I read them and I really used to do my best to leave some sort of reply on these journals. Used to refers to the fact I do lack some sort of feedback now and then. I have to say I am pretty satisfied with the way I lead my life, so I don't really need LJ as some sort of venting or anything, but realising some people might find your stuff interesting does feel good. We all know it. It's just a bit boring to feed some egos's out there in LJ community all the time without me being fed. It is boring.

Ok, comment-whore does step out now and then and it's the time of silly, almost naked, exposing, teasing, yes, silly posts. But, sadly, these are the posts with the biggest echo.

So, tell me, what is it? Me not being able to pick up the right Flist content? Me being stupid because I expect my "real life" rule of "everything you do comes back to you" might actually work in a predominantly gay LJ community? Or is it just me missing the target yet again. :)

I do spend a lot of time online, but I must say that keeping some real interaction through stuff like Skype, MSN, ISPQ and alike makes me feel a bit better than this, somewhat dim mirror of LJ. Don't know, maybe three weeks of vacation ahead of me might give me enough of time and space to step back a little and see where this LJpath will take me.

You take care. It's fun nevertheless. :)


( 50 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jul. 8th, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
If you think you've got the balance right, then that's all that matters. I was actually having a conversation with an LJ friend the other day that touched on this topic. Personally, I think the most important audience for your LJ blog is....YOU! If you feel inspired to post about something, whether it's trivial, goofy, personal, touching, or just naughty, then good for you - go for it. If you get just a little feedback, don't be overly concerned - it may be that some of your LJ friends are swamped, and didn't see your post, or it may just mean that they didn't have anything meaningful to respond with. In either case, it doesn't really matter, IMO, since you have recorded in your LJ something that was important to you.

You know that many of us here enjoy reading about your life in Slovenia (and are in awe of your excellent English). All of us have basically ordinary existences, so sometimes our posts may be a bit mundane - but that's OK.

Happy Anniversary!
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:30 am (UTC)
Hey, Roy!

Ok, so you say I should just stick to my balance. But I do find not paying attention to any sort of reaction pretty hard - must be a journalist in me. :)

But as things are I'll just keep on babbling about Slovenia and that hardly pronounceable Ljubljana. And just because I love it.

And that's all that matters, right?
(no subject) - inbhirnis - Jul. 11th, 2008 12:55 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 11th, 2008 05:10 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 8th, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
LJ's weird that way since it's easy to feel as though your comment count = love. I sometimes struggle with it myself, but you have to remember that you should blog for yourself, not for some nebulous audience.

I used to get mad when I knew people read my blog without comment, but then I realized one day that hey, maybe they just have nothing apt to contribute or that the entry was complete enough.
Jul. 9th, 2008 04:21 am (UTC)
Back when I was writing paper journals someone told me that once I write it down I'm NEVER supposed to go back and read it. Close it up, delete it do whatever but don't read it again. It just stirs up old feelings and keeps you from processing or some shit. At any rate, I usually don't go back and read my journal.

Here's my point: I don't care about comment counts. I've never really had them. I assume that my readership is like the New York Times and I'm touching so many and various lives that not everyone can take the time to respond.

I try to comment when I think that people need them, but I have a degree of social retardation and sometimes my sarcasm doesn't come across in the journals. I've lost friends from here that take me too seriously, or that didn't take me seriously enough.

(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 9th, 2008 06:23 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sibertater - Jul. 9th, 2008 07:10 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 9th, 2008 08:57 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sibertater - Jul. 10th, 2008 03:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 10th, 2008 05:39 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sibertater - Jul. 10th, 2008 02:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 9th, 2008 06:25 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - manley1 - Jul. 9th, 2008 01:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 9th, 2008 01:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 8th, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC)
Well silly teasing and fun entries tend to get peoples attention more than say what you made for breakfast or a very flat "this was my day" though I would say that some of my favorite journals to read while often time silly are the ones that make me think, or are those belonging to friends. I've been on LJ far longer and have fewer people on my friends page than yourself but I'm pretty happy with who is on it and the ebb and flow of comments between.
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:19 am (UTC)
"Silly and teasing and fun"..... even though I might nag a bit about it all, I guess I should say that's also a part of me. :)
Jul. 8th, 2008 09:23 pm (UTC)
I usually comment a lot less than I read, which isn't to say I don't "love" my friends, but I don't always have time to compose something interesting when work is constantly interrupting my browsing time.

I hope you continue to find interesting things to blog about. And thank you for your interest in my blog too :)
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:17 am (UTC)
Hey, Matt, it's a deal... I'll keep on posting and keep on reading and keep on commenting. And life is good.

Jul. 8th, 2008 10:51 pm (UTC)
First of all, let me tell you that your journal is certainly one of the most interesting and entertaining in my friend list.
And that you are very popular with your readers.

Said that, I know that some people are quite bad at commenting (and I am often one of them!)
But that doesn't mean that they don't read you.
Sometimes it's simply hard to find something new to say!
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:15 am (UTC)
Thanks, Franco, you are kind to me as usual and I do appreciate that. I guess I still need to find the balance between expectations and outcome. LOL

You take care, ok?
Jul. 8th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
Firstly, Happy Anniversary to your journal.

I like your journal, it's illuminating and entertaining. Keep doing it cos you do it well. ;-)

It's a shame that the comment whoring posts are the ones most commented on. Sure, they're fun but when you've got something relevant in your life to write about and then fewer people respond to it then it can be somewhat frustrating.
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:11 am (UTC)
Thanks, Niall, I'll surely do my best.

Yes, you found the right phrase. "Somewhat frustrating". I guess I need more of a year to develop some kind of "internet neglectfulness" resistance.

Jul. 9th, 2008 12:32 am (UTC)
I beliee each of us blog for our own reasons. The Flist has never been something that was important to me. As I aged my memory got worse and I can't remember shit so blogging helps me remember things.

A bonus is meeting (in cyberland) some facinating people world wide. It also shows me I am not alone out there, others have the same feelings and lead the same boring or sometimes exciting lives.

I use2 be offended when someone would unfriend me, especially people I have met real time but then I think WTF. Your loss.

Anyway, I really enjoy your blog, although I may not comment all that much I do read it and find you and your blog very interesting
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:07 am (UTC)
Yes, I do agree reasons for blogging are different, but I think that some sort of interaction is one of them. That's what the whole internet thing tends to base upon.

But on the brighter side... LJ has brought a few new interesting people in my life. They are called my Flist and I guess I'll just keep on treating the as I do it in my real World, not just WWWorld. :)
Jul. 9th, 2008 12:37 am (UTC)
Well, I couldn't imagine my f-list without YOU. So, that must count for something.
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:02 am (UTC)
You, Adam, count for more than you know. :)
Jul. 9th, 2008 04:15 am (UTC)
I've been blogging since September of 2003. It's fun!

Also, is "Ljubljana" really a word? :-)
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:02 am (UTC)
Yes... I agree. It is fun.

And yes, Ljubljana, is an actual word. It's the name of the city I live in. LOL And it says LJ on our licence plates, go figure.

It's actually spelled as "l-you-b-lyah-nah". :)
Jul. 9th, 2008 04:31 am (UTC)
so it's all my fault then? Is that what you're saying? Is that it?
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:01 am (UTC)
Yes..... don't find it appealing to be responsible for me? :)
Jul. 9th, 2008 09:01 am (UTC)
My day begins with reading LJ and I love this routine. I know, I know I'm really terrible in responding (lazy bastard) but I try I try ....
Jul. 9th, 2008 10:26 am (UTC)

You're just looking for pictures of Igor, I know I know LOL

Jul. 9th, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
LJ is many things to many people... I wrote down (a pretty damn good post if I may say so myself) my feelings on what lj is for *me* personally. I think you might like it


In any case... I'm very glad you are still around here, popping by to say hello here and there, being silly, and teasing me merciliously. Happy 1 year mister xoxoxoxoxo
Jul. 9th, 2008 09:41 pm (UTC)
Yes, you wrote a wonderful post about your LJ and as I said, it might help me to get a more..... relaxed outlook as far as the whole LJ thing goes.

And I love teasing you.......... :)

(no subject) - dendren - Jul. 9th, 2008 10:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 10th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 9th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)
You're a very special part of my LJ experience. I may not always comment on your posts, but I always read them. It wouldn't be the same without you. So, keep going - your public demands it!
Jul. 10th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC)
Such kind words... You made my morning!!! :)

Jul. 10th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
In those moths that I joined the LJ community (and it's of course your fault)... I find myself checking daily your blog ... "let's see what's happening to him" ... Sometimes I start my day with your reading, sometimes finishing... but every single day, every single connection on the net it's a must checking Paterson.
I like to learn how you imposed your life, hmm... cause we're both man and gay and out, both journalists, both working for the same media, meeting the same people at work, walking in the same studios and rooms, both from abroad, living in Ljubljana, both enjoying a long term relationships with our beloved, both hedonists, obsessed with Mediterranean stuff, and all that smells of Italy, both somehow optimistic and willing to live and experience ... although we’re very different. I like to compare our lifestyle ... me being a gay activist and you being out and “non-activist”. I like to adopt some changes, to improve, to experiment, to search, to discover, to learn and also to teach. To look at my reflection and to reflect. I like the fact that LJ connected us ... I know you for almost 10 years... but we were fare apart till LJ and Bear happened. And of course, I like to read cause I like you. Love you.

Ok... I miss some reflections in your writing, some being really you ... some going in depth ... I miss you telling us deeper things, your thoughts, your concerns, your preoccupations... you show us only the bright side... but I'd like to see also the dark.

Love reading your blogs, and of course, can not resist to avoid commenting fleshy, beefy and horny posts.

Hope you'll continue... and I'll miss your post during holidays.
Jul. 10th, 2008 11:42 pm (UTC)
Yes, we are pretty much alike in some aspects and pretty different in some others. Italy is certainly the "ALIKE" thing and our working environment just falls in the same area - with all the annoying stuff and people that brings.

Out and "non-activist". I guess I lead a "comfortable" life and it might also be the egoist in me. I just don't feel any need to walk around and say "look at me, I am here". Whoever wants to see me, he or she can do it. And if they find the image they see ugly, they can easily look away. I don't give a fuck actually. I also take the right to look away pretty often. So, it's all good and on even levels.

And my darker side. I really don't have much of that and I am not pretending and when I have bad or at least a bit worse days, I do mention it on LJ as well. The fact there's not much "dark mood" about me is a very simple consequence of my basic rule in life: I only live once. There are no second chances on this one and when I reach the point to say 'Goodbye, World' I want to have as few un-ticked wish-boxes as possible. A day full of bad mood is a day lost. And I just don't want to lose too many.

(no subject) - mitjablazic - Jul. 11th, 2008 04:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 11th, 2008 05:09 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mitjablazic - Jul. 11th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paterson_si - Jul. 11th, 2008 06:02 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 11th, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)
I like it when you post hot pictures.

How shallow is that?

But that's definitely a part of it. The most inane posts imaginable get scores of comments, and the deep serious pondering ones about life, love, career get resounding silence.

I do think people want attention, otherwise your journal would be on your hard drive, not on the internet.

But I also think we want understanding and love and sympathy.

Anyway, I post when I think I have something entertaining to say to my Flist, I Flock the ones about work, I make the private ones private, and I leave the pop culture ones wide open. But it's mostly just a pastime for me so I let the popularity thing fall by the wayside.
Jul. 11th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
It's not shallow... it's window shopping LOL

No, it's all good. And you're right - I am more or less the same when it comes to commenting and replying. And yes, part of the game is attention and part of it is understanding. I guess I am just a bit too "interaction oriented" at times.

And BIG yes for "would be on your hard drive, not on the internet". Right on, Shawn.


So...... any special orders for hot pics? LOL
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