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I took a day off. Needed to take care of some bureaucracy and - basically - wanted to make a bit longer weekend. I had to go to Litija - city I was born and raised in - and it was a cloudy, cold morning. Temperatures probably dropped below freezing for the first time this season, but early morning offered some nice views. Well, 8.30 IS early for me. And this is a sun trying to chase the fog away, somewhere on the countryside around Litija.

I got to the city early, so I made a randonnée around few places from my childhood - places I used as a playground, places I used as my daily lonely bicycle trips, full of thinking, places I visited with my friends, places... I once used to live in and used to like. I don't know when exactly it happened, but all of a sudden melancholy just poured over me; like molasses. I was covered with memories, full of voices from the past 37 or so years, full of unfinished sentences, full of wrong moves, full of missed opportunities, full of - now clear - reasons for drifting away from my parents to the state our relationship is in now. It was a strong, emotional, yet I am not completely sure a pleasant experience. I was just driving around, trying to absorb images around me, trying to figure out why are they all different now, trying to figure out whether I still fit in any of them. I felt - and still do (In the still of the night, as I gaze from my window...) - kind of rootless. I think I need another day, full of stress at work, to get me down on my feet again.
I spent most of the day contemplating, looking inside me and I am still melancholic. The image on my way home (from italian lessons) didn't really boost my mood. There is a discotheque in the center of Ljubljana. It's known to be a troublesome place for quite some time now, but something really terrible happened last weekend. A young, 20-year old boy, got beaten up on the street in front of the club by three men, one (or two) of them being a security personnel in Global Club. On wednesday that boy died. Saturday saw thousands of people standing around Global, lighting candles, signing a petition, trying to show some respect and remorse for what happened. It's Monday evening and the surrounding of Global still looks like this:

Will we ever learn?


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Oct. 16th, 2007 02:08 am (UTC)
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