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Story is a 30-day project - Part Two.

This is a copy/paste from yesterday's post: Ok, so here's the deal. Let's write a story together. I can't say what kind of a story, because I can't say where it will take us. Rules (which is a very strong word itself) are simple. I will provide first few sentences today. Provide your vision of what should come next in your comments. Please, try to limit yourself to, let's say, five to ten sentences. And then I'll see - I might take one whole reply/comment as the next paragraph, maybe I'll try to combine some. And then, another day, another paragraph. I will end each 30DayStory post with what we'll come up till then, maybe add a few more sentences and in a month from now, we'll have a true LJ joint venture story.

And this is today. Wow, just wow! I have to say that our story took off in a way i wasn't really expecting. Thanks all for participating. I was really surprised that almost all of you grasped that slightly eerie feeling I tried to give with the first few sentences. And I used all those parts to come up with the next few paragraphs of The Day As It Was. Oh, and I kept all I haven't used and I am sure it will find place in those 29 days still ahead of us. I am really happy with the direction we took. Hope we make it through this next month.

I haven't put the story behind the cut, because it's not too long. Yet. :) So, let's continue...

*******

The Day As It Was

I still don't know what the fuck was wrong with that lady on the bus. She was looking, no, not looking, bloody staring at me as if I were some kind of an alien. I tried to catch my reflection in the window to check if I left home snotty or unzipped or something, but as hard as I tried, nothing out of unusual met my eyes. Wherever I moved, there they were; annoying, empty, shallow eyes; stern gaze that already started flirting with downright rudeness. I just couldn't wait for my station to arrive.
As though a barn owl, her stare remained unwavering, nearly unblinking. There was coldness there, impassive and menacing. The closer we came to my stop, the more I felt like prey, exposed and vulnerable. I thought I was going to make it home-free. I could see through the window that the bus was approaching my stop, and I was getting ready to shuffle to the exit, when, in a deep and growly voice that sounded like it came from the depths of Hell itself, she addressed me.
"Do you remember me?" she said. "Do you remember seeing me two weeks ago, on this very bus, while you were talking to a tall man with brownish hair and a beard?" My mind took a few twists and turns, but nothing useful, nothing that would make any sense, nothing that might somehow connect me to this creature appeared. I just stood there, unable to utter a word.
"A curse!" she snarled, "A curse for what you've done. You caused it, now you must pay." I couldn’t stand that anymore. My stop was there and I bolted for the door. Looking back at the bus as it was leaving, I didn't see her.

***

I could not stop thinking about her; I even checked the news paper to see if there was any mention of escaped mental patients, anything. Something about her really shook me. That night I felt like a little kid again, needing to check under the bed for monsters.
Morning came and I woke with a jolt, heart beating an insane rhythm in my chest, yesterday’s event still vibrant in my thoughts. Was it all a dream? I padded to the bathroom and turned the hot water to the sink to splash away the remaining sleep. Face dripping I wipe the condensed steam from the mirror only to see the crone looking back at me.
My skin shrank, heart tried to escape and the air just left my body. I don't know, I might have fainted a little, I might have lost my mind, but I am completely sure the creature touched me, leaving a deep scar in my subconscious; my scream was silenced by my fear. I closed my eyes, yet my other senses remained alert, kept alive by the rush of adrenaline too wild to control.
 "A curse for what you've done. You caused it, now you must pay." My mirror was clear again, reflecting my pale face, eyes full od fear. I was alone again. My body was at least.

 
 


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( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
sparkytwmonkey
Sep. 28th, 2009 03:56 pm (UTC)
I went to the kitchen to make some breakfast, hoping to shake the nightmares. Howevery, everything seemed to evoke it. The kettle seemed to whistle, "Remembeeer" as the water boiled. I quickly unplugged it. As I was pouring the water for tea, the toaster snapped, "Curse" as it popped my toast up. It made me jump and I scalded my hand.

What did I do? What do I need to remember?
paterson_si
Sep. 30th, 2009 06:32 am (UTC)
Loved your part! :) And used it well.
osodecanela
Sep. 28th, 2009 05:17 pm (UTC)
A cold chill that ran up my spine, then dissolved as a burning heat in my right palm refocused my eyes. A rivulet of blood trickled into the sink, snaking it's way to the drain.

Blood.

My blood.

My razor imbedded in my palm as I clutched the basin, bringing me back to reality. I was alone.

And bleeding.
paterson_si
Sep. 30th, 2009 06:32 am (UTC)
GOOOOD! :) It combined it all perfectly.
ezran74
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:36 pm (UTC)
I dressed with out knowing I was dressing. My chest tight with anxiety, my heart pounding at the tiniest noise. The taste of bile in my mouth, my breakfast tasted like ashes. As I walked to the bus my eyes darted trying to catch sight of the old crone who was my tormentor.
paterson_si
Sep. 30th, 2009 06:32 am (UTC)
It's IN! :)
grizzlyd
Sep. 29th, 2009 03:03 am (UTC)
My mind was filled with thought. Was it a dream?, was it real? When a husky voice shattered my confusion. "Excuse me" came a male voice, from behind me. I turned around, and there was that stranger approaching me, with a smile on his face. My heart skipped a beat.
paterson_si
Sep. 30th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
Ah husky! :) Nice paragraph. :)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )