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Oh, just Friday relaxation.

Three 90-year old ladies were attending the funeral of one of their friends. A funeral wreath slipped off the catafalque and one of them picked it up. The other said: "Oh, you caught the bouquet, darling!"

Rude? Funny! :)

Comments

( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
djmadadam
Feb. 27th, 2009 02:34 pm (UTC)
John Smith is a resident at an assisted living facility. One morning, he was announcing to everyone, "My penis. It's dead." Nurse Jones interrupted him on one of these occasions and said, "Now, Mr. Smith, it is not appropriate for you to be going around telling this to people." John seemed confused by this. "But, Nurse Jones, it's true. My penis is dead." Nurse Jones, trying to be as supportive as possible, says, "Well, Mr. Smith, I am sorry. But, maybe this is something that you should keep to yourself."

The following day, Nurse Jones was doing her rounds. Much to her surprise, she encounters John Smith wandering the hallways with his robe wide open and he was wearing no undergarment. "Mr Smith!" she exclaimed, "why are you walking around naked with your robe open like that?" John replied rather confidently, "Nurse Jones, like I said yesterday, my penis is dead. Today is the viewing."
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
LOL LOL LOL :)
djmadadam
Feb. 27th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
Also...

How many victims of domestic violence does it take to screw in a light bulb?
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
Ouch!: )
djmadadam
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:20 pm (UTC)
You were supposed to ask, "How many?"
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:22 pm (UTC)
So.... How many?
djmadadam
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:37 pm (UTC)
Beats me.
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:44 pm (UTC)
Thought so.

*shows tongue*
djmadadam
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC)
You do get the double entendre, yes?
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC)
What was the ouch for then?
djmadadam
Feb. 27th, 2009 10:24 pm (UTC)
You ouched before you gave me a chance to give you the punchline!!
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 10:28 pm (UTC)
so I guess I had my mind focused on just one screwing.... the bulb. :)
djmadadam
Feb. 27th, 2009 10:30 pm (UTC)
osdfvnsdfiounoabipnesdfiobbandfiopbeoijhebio
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 10:31 pm (UTC)
!?"(=?"(#=!&(=!$&!$=!"$#"=!) ? :)
blt4success66
Feb. 27th, 2009 02:36 pm (UTC)
THAT was funny.
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
Made me chuckle. :)
westcbear
Feb. 27th, 2009 03:24 pm (UTC)
LOL!! Cute!
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
It made a tiny part of my Friday. :)
tilia_tomentosa
Feb. 27th, 2009 04:29 pm (UTC)
Both rude and funny. :)
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
I can do with rude. :)
bygbrat
Feb. 27th, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC)
LOL
paterson_si
Feb. 27th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
Indeed. :)
ezran74
Feb. 28th, 2009 02:19 am (UTC)
Hillariouse lol
paterson_si
Feb. 28th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
I cracked. :)
ezran74
Mar. 1st, 2009 01:48 am (UTC)
Sounds like some of the old ladies I knew back in Idaho... lol
paterson_si
Mar. 1st, 2009 11:32 am (UTC)
And I guess there are not that many of them anymore... hee hee hee
shirtlifterbear
Feb. 28th, 2009 07:18 am (UTC)
*giggle*

Funny!
paterson_si
Feb. 28th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
I thought so too! :)
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )