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Got It Good.

There's much more in this "video" than it might seem. My life, my joy, my city, my friends, my frustrations, my family, my life till 2009 and my life past 2009, my favourite pictures, my memories... my joy, my pain, my fears, my love.
Now tell me: is it really selfish to wish to die before people I really love? Is it cowardly to escape the pain you're probably not capable of dealing with?
This is how I feel today. That is all.






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( 72 comments — Leave a comment )
airporter
Jan. 17th, 2009 05:29 am (UTC)
That was beautiful - the music and the arrangement of the shots were very evocative.

Ultimately, only you know if that desire is selfish, kind man. Dying first, others help you and experience that pain: last, and you perform that service of love for others. It's rarely a choice though. It just happens. *hugs*

paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:45 pm (UTC)
I was listening to this song for a few days and images kept on flashing in my head, so I had to do it, I guess.

And when it was finished that desire, wish, thoughts about going first came to mind and dragged me a bit down, I must say. I know it just happens, but it still hurts when I think about it.

*hugs*
london1967
Jan. 17th, 2009 08:49 am (UTC)
Wonderful!
You are a true artist.
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:45 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Effe! I appreciate it!
isledemoi
Jan. 17th, 2009 10:10 am (UTC)
What a nice tribute to the people in your life. Strange that you should be thinking like this. Only last night I was thinking the same thing - that I don't want my friends & family to die before me. As i have commented before - you are a rich man to have such people in your life.
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Yes, that's a trbute to people in my life and it was the way I feel for those people that got me thinking about death and all inevitable. I still haven't worked it all out.

And, yes, I am a rich man.
tilia_tomentosa
Jan. 17th, 2009 11:50 am (UTC)
Wow... beautiful! :) I feel tempted to just keep watching the video again and again.

I love to see photos of you and Igor together, the sentimental idiot hopeless romantic that I am.

And OMG, even bluebubbleblue's ginkgo leaves! :)

It is amazing how much you and yours have become part of my life for the few months in which I've known you. I recognize some of the people in your video and even remember their names. (Hey, bluebubbleblue, I'm giving you the perfect opportunity to tease me about that imaginary lover thing! :P)
Just don't die soon because I want to grow old together with you.

bluebubbleblue
Jan. 17th, 2009 01:41 pm (UTC)
Don't worry, Dari! : P

You have a lot of competitors. : P LOL!!!
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bluebubbleblue
Jan. 17th, 2009 01:39 pm (UTC)
I hope the moment I gave you would be happiness, Tomaz! : )

Man I wanna visit you and Igor so much! : )

((BIG BIG HUGS))

Sean
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:49 pm (UTC)
Does she? :) And, yes, the moment your offered was happiness.

HUGS
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estudioso
Jan. 17th, 2009 03:47 pm (UTC)
Your video made me feel happy in such a hard day at work, Tomaz.
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:49 pm (UTC)
And then it made me happy in return. Again!:)

HUGS, Temo!
jeremymlad
Jan. 17th, 2009 05:55 pm (UTC)
That was beautiful from start to end! Every single picture made me either happy or calm or both - it was just so very nice. Thumbs up, friend.
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Jeremy! I am happy I managed to send some of my feelings and emotions out.

HUGS
djmadadam
Jan. 17th, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the heavy heart and watery eyes.

Death is part of life. But, don't you dare die before your time. I'm glad you're in my life. You're a thoughtful and talented person.

I'm afraid sometimes I could grow old lonely and bitter. Your video reminds me that I have some work to do.
djmadadam
Jan. 17th, 2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
Also, who is the handsome man in the yellow shirt at 4:27? :D
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dendren
Jan. 17th, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
as someone who has lost *far* too many people I loved I think I spend an inordinant amount of time worrying that I will lose more. I don't think wishing to die before those you love is selfish at all... unrealistic, unfortunately, but not selfish at all.
dendren
Jan. 17th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC)
also, what song is this... I have a few friends I'd like to send it to.

edit: oops... I see it now. Jem... very cool!

Edited at 2009-01-17 07:10 pm (UTC)
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bygbrat
Jan. 17th, 2009 07:24 pm (UTC)
beautiful! :D
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:53 pm (UTC)
Thanks, B! :)
zedsled
Jan. 17th, 2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
That was simply beautiful, Tomaz. It gave me the "warm fuzzies" inside. I really hope that I get the opportunity to meet you in person one day.
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:53 pm (UTC)
We should start making it happen, right? :)

Thanks!!!
(Deleted comment)
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:53 pm (UTC)
I am glad you saw and liked it. Means a lot to me.

HUGS
(Anonymous)
Jan. 17th, 2009 08:17 pm (UTC)
nice compilation
Nice photo compilation and happy being part of your life.
Marinus
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)
Re: nice compilation
Hey, Rinie! No doubt you and LeRoy are part of it. A nice part!!!

HUGS
mitjablazic
Jan. 17th, 2009 08:39 pm (UTC)
You made me cry ... so keep living moments before they pass away ...

... I'm happy we got closer in the last year ...

Hugs!
tilia_tomentosa
Jan. 17th, 2009 09:01 pm (UTC)
Hey hey hey, why do such good things always make you cry?

I guess we all will have to die at the same time with Tomaz. LOL
*hugs*
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manley1
Jan. 17th, 2009 10:58 pm (UTC)
Just.. wow. Impressive.
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks, M! Every one of those people is so special to me.
cajuncountry
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:34 am (UTC)
Very nice.



I hope I die before everyone else too.

Edited at 2009-01-18 02:35 am (UTC)
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks........ And I still hope the same as you do. Everything else seems like a nightmare.

HUGS
ezran74
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:50 am (UTC)
Not selfish no... it's never easy to loose someone you care about... sometimes I wonder if I would be strong enough to survive the death of a spouse... I know my grandfater's brother-in-law was unable to survive his wifes, he died the morning of her funeral. I worry sometimes that I will be that way... HUGS
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 02:56 pm (UTC)
HUGS, D!

Thinking about the ones we love and their passing away is probably the hardest thing...
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ubermunkey
Jan. 18th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC)
this is really beautiful!
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 06:37 pm (UTC)
This is how I feel. :)
mikiedoggie
Jan. 18th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
What a thoughtful and sentimental video. *hugs*
paterson_si
Jan. 18th, 2009 07:18 pm (UTC)
Hugs back, M!

I just felt like that for the past few days. And that song was luring me in slowly.
vksi
Jan. 20th, 2009 09:26 am (UTC)
So nice!! Hope to see you soon again.

*hugs and kiss*
paterson_si
Jan. 22nd, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
Oh, yes, it will happen soon :)
herbe
Jan. 20th, 2009 05:21 pm (UTC)
how did i miss this?

fantastic, tomaz :)


herb+
paterson_si
Jan. 22nd, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
Well, it happens! :)

Thanks,h+!!! I appreciate it!
(Deleted comment)
paterson_si
Jan. 22nd, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
And you're part of it all....... :)
tkn1114
Jan. 5th, 2010 04:22 am (UTC)
life is beautiful
A lesbian film festival official entry LOL NO JUST KIDDING! JUST KIDDING!</b> :-0.)

Damn you, Patti. I ain't doing no work because of you!

So, I'm gonna want to know all these things:
. 1:06: confirming my contention: the lizzie pants LOL
. 1:08: WHO? x 2 pix = fedora hats in shade + plaid shirts/shorts. It can't be Igor and you?
. 1:12: Adorable (skipped a breath)
. 1:13: Winnie the Pooh humpable!
. 1:17: Absolutely no clean-shaven! Pillsbury doughboy :-.0)
. 1:26: Cool... chairs?
. 1:29: Where?
. 1:35: That's what I do. Where was this?
. 1:45, 1:47, 1:51, 1:54: The photographer is an artist.
. 2:29: Who?
. 2:31: On the right with a sweatshirt draped over his shoulders: Inquire for modeling on my behalf = he's a must! Name? Situation?
. 2:35: Who are these ladies?
. 2:43: Who x 2? Again @ 2:55.
. 3:01: talk about this?
. 3:12: I would have paid :-.)
. 3:20: OK. A collection we will NOT do! LOL And I forbid you to go to Walter Van B. for it!
. 3:23: Either run for office or write a book because you can post this pix :-.D Tres joli, baby!
. 3:25: O, forget chu! I want him! :-.0)
. 3:27: Love this!
. 3:28: Explain the 3rd party who appears in many pix?
. 3:33: The girls are fab, too!
. 3:41, 3:43, 3:44: Photographic triumph! Where is the chandelier at?
. 3:45: Gold?
. 3:57: Which one are you?
. 4:03: YES!
. 4:13: Your dad is a DUDE!


is it really selfish to wish to die before people I really love? - In my book = yes. Because you have to give back. You have to be there to take care of them if they need you. Or just be there for them even if they don't need anything from you, but you. Your presence. And then, you have to make sure that they're not forgotten. Like this film. The loveliest thing you have done. Everyone will live forever in this album. O, stop making me all sappy! Anyway, in my book: Love is not about me first. It's about you first. Or "them" first. We absorb when we are loved. We give when we love.

Is it cowardly to escape the pain you're probably not capable of dealing with? - It is a decision we make individually. How can there be a right or wrong answer? But there is Cyrano de Bergerac, and there is King Kong. Who really loved what, or who, and how?

You touch. I respond. Hvala. For you. For us. XO.


paterson_si
Jan. 5th, 2010 07:34 am (UTC)
Re: life is beautiful
Ok... so let's go.

First of all... a much better version of the slideshow is here: http://www.vimeo.com/5441010
And there's another one; about my summer 2009: http://www.vimeo.com/6226880

And now onto times...
1:06 and 1:08 - Igor and me on Crete
1:12 - Crete again
1:13 - hihihihi
1:17 - I KNOW! :)
1:26 - Chairs; just a tiny cafe in Ljubljana
1:19 - Sirmione at Lago di Garda
1:35 - www.pandurtheaters.com - look for Barroco; it was in Ljubljana
1:45, 1:47, 1:51, 1:54 - Why thanks :)
2:29 - my dear friend Jaka (Jacob)
2:31 - Olivier from Marseille; married to the man on the right, Andre
2:35 - Just one lady. :)
2:43 and 2:55 - Jaka again; on the first slide with LeRoy from Canada and Rinie from The Netherlands
3:01 - talk about what?
3:12 - paid for such winter? soon again for me...
3:20 - LOL
3:23 - joli, right
3:25 - it happens. :)
3:27 - a sweet, sweet moment. They really like eachother.
3:28 - my brother
3:33 - my colleague
3:41, 3:43, 3:44 - YAY, YAY and YAY; it's in the lobby of one of the banks
3:45 - actually dark silver and glass. Czechs are masters.
3:57 - the little one on the right
...yes, my parents. :)

And I know it's selfish and I know that love is about "them" first. Sometimes it still hurts. And I guess it has to, so that we know we are alive and we feel.

I am really touched I touched... Prosim.

xxx




Re: life is beautiful - tkn1114 - Jan. 6th, 2010 12:04 am (UTC) - Expand
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